1.3 Lí ē-sái ūi bōe-kái ê būn-tê chhōa tap-àn
“Lí ē kiâⁿ-kî bô? Góa bē kì-tit ah. Kái se-iûⁿ kî chân-kio̍k án-chóaⁿ? Ōaⁿ pe̍h-jí kiâⁿ, 3-pō͘ í-lāi chiong-kun, chit-lūi ê.”
“Góa tùi se-iûⁿ kî ê chhù-bī oân-choân chāi tī tô͘-siōng.”
“Tô͘-siōng?”
“He hêng-thé chong-sek. Khî-sū. peng-chu̍t téngx. Hui-siông iu-ngá.”
“Chiâⁿ bê-lâng. Góa ē-sái chah chi̍t-thò hō͘ lí sńg. Hó lah, mài kiâⁿ-kî. Lí ē-sái chò kóa ha̍k-su̍t gián-kiù. He mā sī chi̍t-chióng sò͘-ha̍k. Ūi bōe kái ê būn-tê chhōe tap-àn.”
“Lí sī kóng hoān-chōe àn-kiāⁿ? Le̍k-sú àn-kiāⁿ góa kì kah chhengx chhóx. Chiah-ê àn-kiāⁿ bô jīm-hô ē-tàng koh chò ê ah lah. Tong-jiân, tùi tó-chhn̂g ê lâng koh-khah bē-tàng.”
“Góa m̄-sī kí Chóng-pō͘ (Yard) tóng-àn nih ê àn-kiāⁿ lah. Góa ê ì-sù sī koh-khah – án-chóaⁿ kóng? – khah kó͘-tián ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Khùn-jiáu sè-kài í-keng kúi-nā tē lâng ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ.”
“Chhin-chhiūⁿ siáⁿ, kí-lē lâi kóng?”
“Pí-lūn kóng, ‘Phe Kheh-á’ àn.”
“Oh mài kóng Scotland Lú-ông Mary!”
“Ná m̄ neh?” Marta mn̄g, yi kap só͘-ū ê lú ián-oân kāng-khoán, thàu-kòe bôngx ê pe̍h-sek bīn-se khòaⁿ Mary Stuart.
“Góa ē hèng-chhù bái cha-bó͘, tān choa̍t-tùi bē hèng-chhù gōng cha-bó͘.”
“Gōng?” Marta kō͘ yi chòe-hó ê Electra kē-im án-ne kóng.
“Hui-siông gōng.”
“Oh, Alan, lí ná ē-sái án-ne kóng?”
“Yi nā tì pa̍t-khoán thâu-sek, bô-lâng ē khì chù-ì tio̍h yi. Sī yi hit-téng bō-á teh siâⁿ-lâng.”
“Lí jīn-ûi, nā tì jia-ji̍t ê bonnet, yi tō bē ài kah hiah úi-tāi?”
“Yi kin-pún to m̄-bat ū úi-tāi ê ài, m̄-koán tì siáⁿ khoán bō-á.”
Marta hián-sī tio̍h-kiaⁿ, he thêng-tō͘ tú-hó ha̍h tī yi ê kio̍k-tiûⁿ jîn-seng kap chi̍t tiám-cheng ê cheng-sim hòa-chong.
“Lí ná ē án-ne siūⁿ?”
“Mary Stuart koân 6-chhioh. Só͘-ū tōa-phiāng cha-bó͘ cpt [chha-put-to] lóng seks léng-kám. Lí ē-sái khì mn̄g i-seng.”
Ná án-ne kóng, i soah kî-koài, Marta chiap-siū i chò pī-iōng hō͘-hoe sài (護花使, escort) chiah chē nî lâi, sī án-chóaⁿ i lóng bô siūⁿ-tio̍h, yi he tùi cha-po͘ lâng ê chhut-miâ léng-chēng, khó-lêng mā koan-hē tio̍h yi ê sin-koân. M̄-koh, Marta bô siūⁿ tùi chia lâi, yi ê sim-su iáu sī khǹg tī yi só͘ kah-ì ê Lú-ông.
“Siōng-bô yi sī chi̍t-ê sûn-tō-chiá. Chit-tiám lí tio̍h sêng-jīn.”
“Ūi siáⁿ-hòe sûn-tō?”
“Yi ê chong-kàu.”
“Ûi-it hō͘ yi sûn-tō ê sī hong-sip chèng. Yi bô Kàu-chong ê ín-chún tō kè hō͘ Darnley, koh kō͘ Sin-kàu ê gî-sek kè hō͘ Bothwell.”
“Koh-lâi lí tō boeh kā góa kóng, yi m̄-sī siû-hoān!”
“Lí mâ-hoân ê só͘-chāi, chāi-tī lí siūⁿ-kóng, yi tòa tī siâⁿ-pó téng ê sió pâng-keng, thang-á an thih-tiâu, ū chi̍t-ê tiong-si̍t ê lāu sū-chiông pôe yi chò kî-tó. Sū-si̍t-siōng, yi ê chhù-lāi ū 60-ê sûi-chiông. He kiám kàu chhun sò͘x 30-lâng ê sî, yi iáu ē tōa-siaⁿ bâi-oàn, tán he koh kiám kàu chhun 2-ê cha-po͘ pì-su, kúi-ê-á lú-po̍k, chi̍t-ê châi-hông, kap chi̍t/nn̄g-ê chú-chia̍h..ê ê sî, yi khì kah kiông boeh sí. Che it-chhè khai-siau lóng sī lâi chū Elizabeth ê phiò-pau-á. 20-nî lâi, Elizabeth it-ti̍t hù-chîⁿ, á Mary Stuart tī chit 20-nî put-sî hiòng Europa hoah-bē Scotland ông-koan, hi-bāng ū-lâng hoat-tōng kek-bēng, hō͘ yi koh chē tńg-khì sit-khì ê ông-ūi; a̍h-sī kā yi sak chiūⁿ Elizabeth teh chē ê hit-ê ông-ūi.”
I lia̍h Marta khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē, hoat-hiān yi teh bî-bî-á chhiò.
“Ū khah hó bô?”
“Siáⁿ khah hó?”
“Bô-liâu ê chha̍k-thiàⁿ.”
I chhiò chhut-lâi.
“Ū oh. Tú-chiah chit-tōaⁿ sî-kan góa kui-ê kā he pàng bē-kì-tit. Siōng-bô, che ē-sái sǹg sī Mary Stuart tòa lâi ê hó sū.”
“Lí ná ē tùi Mary hiah-nī liáu-kái?”
“Góa tī ha̍k-hāu siōng bóe nî, ū siá chi̍t-phiⁿ koan-hē yi ê lūn-bûn.”
“Lí bô kah-ì yi, góa án-ne siūⁿ.”
“Bô kah-ì góa só͘ hoat-hiān koan-hē yi ê it-chhè.”
“Só͘-í, lí bô jīn-ûi yi sī chi̍t-ê pi-kio̍k jîn-bu̍t.”
“Oh, yi sī lah, hui-siông pi-kio̍k neh. M̄-koh, yi ê pi-kio̍k m̄-sī chèng-lâng só͘ siūⁿ ê hit-khoán. Yi ê pi-kio̍k sī yi chhut-sì tō sī Lú-ông, tān gán-kong sī chng-kha ê hū-jîn lâng. Kap keh-piah ke ê Tudor Tt [Thàix] sio pí-phēng bē ū pāi-hāi, mā chin chhù-bī; he khó-lêng hāi lí kòe-tō͘ hun-kî hù-khoán bé mi̍h-kiāⁿ, tān éng-hióng ê kan-ta lí ka-tī. Lí nā kā he kāng-khoán ê chhiú-tōaⁿ iōng tī ông-kok, kiat-kio̍k tō sī chai-lān. Lí nā kō͘ choân-kok chheng-bān jîn-kháu chò té-ah, ūi-tio̍h boeh iâⁿ kòe chi̍t-ê ông-ūi tùi-chhiú, chiong-kî-bóe, lí tō chiâⁿ-chò bô pêng-iú ê sit-pāi-chiá.” I thêng-khùn sió siūⁿ chi̍t-ē. “Jû-kó yi sī lú-chú ha̍k-hāu ê hāu-tiúⁿ, yi tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē tōa sêng-kong.”
“Chin bô-phín!”
“Góa sī hó-ì ê. Kàu-chit-oân ē kah-ì yi, só͘-ū sió ko͘-niû lóng ē chông-pài yi. Tō sī án-ne, góa chiah kóng yi sī pi-kio̍k.”
“Ah, hó lah. ‘Phe Kheh-á’ àn-kiāⁿ, khòaⁿ sī bô bāng ah. Iáu ū siáⁿ pa̍t-hāng? Thih-bīn Lâng?”
“Góa bē kì-tit he sī siáng, m̄-koh góa bē tùi ké-sian takx chhàng tī iân-phiáⁿ āu-bīn ê lâng ū chhù-bī. Tî-hui góa ē-tàng khòaⁿ-tio̍h i ê bīn.”
“Ah, tio̍h. Góa soah bē kì-tit lí tùi bīn ê jia̍t-chêng. Borgia hit ke-hóe ê bīn lóng chiâⁿ chhut-sek. Góa siūⁿ, lí nā khì kā chhâ khòaⁿ-māi, in eng-tong ē ū chi̍t/nn̄g-ê sióx sîn-pì sū-hāng hō͘ lí khì gián-kiù. A̍h-sī, tong-jiân, iáu ū Perkin Warbeck. Ké-pān sin-hūn chóng-sī chin khip-ín lâng. Tàu-té i sī a̍h m̄-sī. Chiâⁿ hó-sńg ê iû-hì (game). Thian-pêng éng-oán bē oân-choân tó hiòng chi̍t-pêng. Lí kā chhi̍h lo̍h-khì, i tō koh peh khí-lâi, tō ná chhin-chhiūⁿ a-put-tó-á."
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1.3 你會使 為未改 ê 問題 揣答案
“你 ē 行棋 無? 我 袂記得 ah. 改 西洋棋殘局 án-chóaⁿ? 換 白子 行, 3 步以內 將軍, 這類 ê.”
“我 tùi 西洋棋 ê 趣味 完全在 tī 圖像.”
“圖像?”
“He 形體裝飾. 騎士. 兵卒 tt [téngx]. 非常優雅.”
“誠迷人. 我 ē-sái 扎一套 hō͘ 你耍. 好 lah, mài 行棋. 你 ē-sái 做寡 學術研究. He mā 是 一種數學. 為 未改 ê 問題 揣答案.”
“你是講 犯罪案件? 歷史案件 我記 kah chhengx chhóx. Chiah-ê 案件 無任何 ē-tàng koh 做 ê ah lah. 當然, tùi 倒床 ê 人 koh-khah bē-tàng.”
“我 m̄-sī 指 總部 (Yard) 檔案 nih ê 案件 lah. 我 ê 意思是 koh-khah - án-chóaⁿ 講? - khah 古典 ê 物件. 困擾世界 已經 kúi-nā 代人 ê 物件.”
“親像啥, 舉例 來講?”
“比論講, ‘批篋仔’ 案.”
“Oh 莫講 Scotland 女王 Mary!”
“那 m̄ neh?” Marta 問, 她 kap 所有 ê 女演員 仝款, 透過 bôngx ê 白色面紗 看 Mary Stuart.
“我 ē 興趣 䆀查某, tān 絕對 袂興趣 戇查某.”
“戇?” Marta kō͘ 她最好 ê Electra 低音 án-ne 講.
“非常戇.”
“Oh, Alan, 你那 ē-sái án-ne 講?”
“她若戴 別款頭飾, 無人 ē 去 注意著她. 是她 彼頂帽仔 teh 唌人.”
“你認為, 若戴 遮日 ê bonnet, 她 tō 袂愛 kah hiah 偉大?”
“她根本 to m̄-bat 有偉大 ê 愛, 毋管 戴啥款 帽仔.”
Marta 顯示 著驚, he 程度 拄好 ha̍h tī 她 ê 劇場人生 kap 一點鐘 ê 精心化妝.
“你那會 án-ne 想?”
“Mary Stuart 懸 6 呎. 所有 大 phiāng 查某 cpt [chha-put-to] lóng seks 冷感. 你 ē-sái 去 問醫生.”
Ná án-ne 講, 伊 soah 奇怪, Marta 接受伊 做備用 hō͘-hoe sài (護花使, escort) chiah 濟年來, 是按怎 伊 lóng 無想著, 她 he tùi 查埔人 ê 出名冷靜, 可能 mā 關係著 她 ê 身懸. M̄-koh, Marta 無想 tùi chia 來, 她 ê 心思 猶是囥 tī 她 所佮意 ê 女王.
“上無 她是 一个 殉道者. 這點 你著 承認.”
“為啥貨 殉道?”
“她 ê 宗教.”
“唯一 hō͘ 她殉道 ê 是 風溼症. 她無 教宗 ê 允准 tō 嫁 hō͘ Darnley, koh kō͘ 新教 ê 儀式 嫁 hō͘ Bothwell.”
“Koh-lâi 你 tō 欲 kā 我講, 她毋是 囚犯!”
“你麻煩 ê 所在, 在 tī 你 想講, 她蹛 tī 城堡頂 ê 小房間, 窗仔 安鐵條, 有一个 忠實 ê 老侍從 陪她 做祈禱. 事實上, 她 ê 厝內 有 60 个隨從. He 減到 賰 sò͘x 30 人 ê 時, 她猶 ē 大聲 埋怨, 等 he koh 減到 賰 2 个 查埔祕書, 幾个仔 女僕, 一个裁縫, kap 一/兩个 煮食..ê ê 時, 她氣 kah 強欲死. Che 一切開銷 lóng 是 來自 Elizabeth ê 票包仔. 20 年來, Elizabeth 一直付錢, á Mary Stuart tī chit 20 年 不時向 Europa 喝賣 Scotland 王冠, 希望有人 發動革命, hō͘ 她 koh 坐轉去 失去 ê 王位; a̍h 是 kā 她 捒上 Elizabeth teh 坐 ê 彼个王位.”
伊掠 Marta 看一下, 發現 她 teh 微微仔 笑.
“有 khah 好 無?”
“啥 khah 好?”
“無聊 ê 鑿疼.”
伊笑出來.
“有 oh. 拄才 這段時間 我規个 kā he 放 袂記得. 上無, che ē-sái 算是 Mary Stuart 帶來 ê 好事.”
“你那會 tùi Mary hiah-nī 了解?”
“我 tī 學校 上尾年, 有寫一篇 關係她 ê 論文.”
“你無佮意 她, 我 án-ne 想.”
“無佮意 我所發現 關係她 ê 一切.”
“所以, 你無認為 她是 一个 悲劇人物.”
“Oh, 她是 lah, 非常 悲劇 neh. M̄-koh, 她 ê 悲劇 毋是 眾人所想 ê 彼款. 她 ê 悲劇是 她出世 tō是 女王, 但 眼光是 庄跤 ê 婦人 lâng. Kap 隔壁街 ê Tudor Tt [Thàix] sio 比 並袂有 敗害, mā 真趣味; he 可能 害你 過度 分期付款 買物件, 但 影響 ê kan-ta 你 ka-tī. 你若 kā he 仝款 ê 手段 用 tī 王國, 結局 tō 是 災難. 你若 kō͘ 全國 千萬人口 做抵押, 為著 欲贏過 一个王位 對手, 終其尾, 你 tō 成做 無朋友 ê 失敗者.” 伊停睏 小想一下. “如果 她是 女子學校 ê 校長, 她 定著 ē 大成功.”
“真無品!”
“我是 好意 ê. 教職員 ē 佮意她, 所有 小姑娘 lóng ē 崇拜 她. Tō 是 án-ne, 我才講 她是悲劇.”
“Ah, 好 lah. ‘批篋仔’ 案件, 看是 無望 ah. 猶有 啥別項? 鐵面人?”
“我袂記得 he 是 siáng, 毋過 我袂 tùi 假仙 takx 藏 tī 鉛鉼 後面 ê 人 有趣味. 除非 我 ē-tàng 看著 伊 ê 面.”
“Ah, 著. 我 soah 袂記得 你 tùi 面 ê 熱情. Borgia hit 家伙 ê 面 lóng 誠出色. 我想, 你若去 kā 查看覓, in 應當 ē 有 一/兩个 sióx 神祕事項 hō͘ 你 去研究. A̍h 是, 當然, 猶有 Perkin Warbeck. 假扮身份 總是 真吸引人. 到底 伊是 a̍h 毋是. 誠好耍 ê 遊戲 (game). 天平 永遠袂 完全 倒向一爿. 你 kā 揤落去, 伊 tō koh peh 起來, tō ná 親像 阿不倒仔."
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1.3
‘Do you play chess? I don’t remember. How about chess problems? White to play and mate in three moves, or something like that.’
‘My only interest in chess is pictorial.’
‘Pictorial?’
‘Very decorative things, knights and pawns and whatnot. Very elegant.’
‘Charming. I could bring you along a set to play with. All right, no chess. You could do some academic investigating. That’s a sort of mathematics. Finding a solution to an unsolved problem.’
‘Crime, you mean? I know all the case-histories by heart. And there is nothing more that can be done about any of them. Certainly not by someone who is flat on his back.’
[Pg 14]‘I didn’t mean something out of the files at the Yard. I meant something more—what’s the word?—something classic. Something that has puzzled the world for ages.’
‘As what, for instance?’
‘Say, the casket letters.’
‘Oh, not Mary Queen of Scots!’
‘Why not?’ asked Marta, who like all actresses saw Mary Stuart through a haze of white veils.
‘I could be interested in a bad woman but never in a silly one.’
‘Silly?’ said Marta in her best lower-register Electra voice.
‘Very silly.’
‘Oh, Alan, how can you!’
‘If she had worn another kind of headdress no one would ever have bothered about her. It’s that cap that seduces people.’
‘You think she would have loved less greatly in a sun-bonnet?’
‘She never loved greatly at all, in any kind of bonnet.’
Marta looked as scandalised as a lifetime in the theatre and an hour of careful make-up allowed her to.
‘Why do you think that?’
‘Mary Stuart was six feet tall. Nearly all out-size women are sexually cold. Ask any doctor.’
And as he said it he wondered why, in all the years since Marta had first adopted him as a spare escort when she needed one, it had not occurred to him to wonder whether her notorious level-headedness about men had something to do with her inches. But Marta had not drawn any parallels; her mind was still on her favourite Queen.
[Pg 15]‘At least she was a martyr. You’ll have to allow her that.’
‘Martyr to what?’
‘Her religion.’
‘The only thing she was a martyr to was rheumatism. She married Darnley without the Pope’s dispensation, and Bothwell by Protestant rites.’
‘In a moment you’ll be telling me she wasn’t a prisoner!’
‘The trouble with you is that you think of her in a little room at the top of a castle, with bars on the window and a faithful old attendant to share her prayers with her. In actual fact she had a personal household of sixty persons. She complained bitterly when it was reduced to a beggarly thirty, and nearly died of chagrin when it was reduced to two male secretaries, several women, an embroiderer, and a cook or two. And Elizabeth had to pay for all that out of her own purse. For twenty years she paid, and for twenty years Mary Stuart hawked the crown of Scotland round Europe to anyone who would start a revolution and put her back on the throne that she had lost; or, alternatively, on the one Elizabeth was sitting on.’
He looked at Marta and found that she was smiling.
‘Are they a little better now?’ she asked.
‘Are what better?’
‘The prickles.’
He laughed.
‘Yes. For a whole minute I had forgotten about them. That is at least one good thing to be put down to Mary Stuart’s account!’
‘How do you know so much about Mary?’
[Pg 16]‘I did an essay about her in my last year at school.’
‘And didn’t like her, I take it.’
‘Didn’t like what I found out about her.’
‘You don’t think her tragic, then.’
‘Oh, yes, very. But not tragic in any of the ways that popular belief makes her tragic. Her tragedy was that she was born a Queen with the outlook of a suburban housewife. Scoring off Mrs Tudor in the next street is harmless and amusing; it may lead you into unwarrantable indulgence in hire-purchase, but it affects only yourself. When you use the same technique on kingdoms the result is disastrous. If you are willing to put a country of ten million people in pawn in order to score off a royal rival, then you end by being a friendless failure.’ He lay thinking about it for a little. ‘She would have been a wild success as a mistress at a girls’ school.’
‘Beast!’
‘I meant it nicely. The staff would have liked her, and all the little girls would have adored her. That is what I meant about her being tragic.’
‘Ah well. No casket letters, it seems. What else is there? The Man In The Iron Mask.’
‘I can’t remember who that was, but I couldn’t be interested in anyone who was being coy behind some tin-plate. I couldn’t be interested in anyone at all unless I could see his face.’
‘Ah, yes. I forgot your passion for faces. The Borgias had wonderful faces. I should think they would provide a little mystery or two for you to dabble in if you looked them up. Or there was Perkin Warbeck, of course. Imposture is always fascinating. Was he or wasn’t he. A lovely game. The balance can never come down[Pg 17] wholly on one side or the other. You push it over and up it comes again, like one of those weighted toys.’
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