2.3 He ba̍k-sîn sī tò-kiu, sī bô sim-sîn
I kā ōe-siōng péng kòe-lâi chhōe tô͘ ê soat-bêng.
Āu-bīn án-ne ìn: Richard III. Chhut chū Kok-ka Siàu-siōng Ōe-lông. Ōe-ka M̄-chai.
Richard III.
Goân-lâi sī i. Richard III. Khiau-ku..ê. Gín-á kó͘ ni̍h ê koài-bu̍t. Thian-chin ê húi-pāi-chiá. Siâ-ok ê tāi-miâ sû.
I kā chóa péng kòe-lâi, koh kā khòaⁿ. Che tō sī ōe-ka ōe hit-tùi ba̍k-chiu ê sî boeh thoân-ta̍t ê mi̍h hioh? I tī he ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ-tio̍h ê, sī chi̍t-ê tiòng-siâ ê lâng ê gán-sîn hioh?
I tó-leh, kúx khòaⁿ hit-ê bīn; khòaⁿ hit-tùi te̍k-pia̍t ê ba̍k-chiu. He ba̍k-chiu tn̂g-liau, óa-kīn ba̍k-bâi; ba̍k-bâi, in-ūi ut-chut kap kòe-thâu chīn-chek ê iu-chhiû, sió-khóa kiu óa. Hiôngx khòaⁿ, ba̍k-chiu ká-ná sī teh siòng siáⁿ; tān lí nā chù-ì kā khòaⁿ, lí ē hoat-hiān he ba̍k-sîn sī tò-kiu, cpt sī bô sim-sîn.
Sè-lia̍p Chí tńg-lâi siu phâng-pôaⁿ ê sî, i iáu teh siòng hit-tiuⁿ ōe-siōng. I í-keng kúi-nā nî bô tú-tio̍h chit-khoán mi̍h-kiāⁿ ah. Che hō͘ La Giaconda (Mona Lisa) bē-su sī hái-pò [ê chúi-chún niâ].
Sè-lia̍p Chí kiám-cha he i bô tāng ê tê-poe, kō͘ se̍k-liān ê chhiú bong he unx ê tê-koàn, jiân-āu chhùi khiàux. He piáu-chêng teh kóng, yi ū kî-thaⁿ tāi-chì ài chò, m̄-sī kan-ta phâng-tê lâi soah hông bû-sī.
I kā ōe-siōng tu hō͘ yi.
Yi án-chóaⁿ siūⁿ? Ká-sú che sī yi ê hoān-chiá, yi ē án-chóaⁿ chín-toàn? “Koaⁿ pēⁿ,” yi ti̍t-lí ti̍t-lō͘ kóng, jiân-āu phâng tê-pôaⁿ tùn āu-teⁿ khòng-gī kiâⁿ lī-khui, chè-ho̍k chiuⁿ thêngx, kim-mo͘ khiûx.
M̄-koh, gōa-kho i-su tī yi chhut-khì liáu sûi ji̍p-lâi, chhin-chhiat koh sûi-ì, ū bô-kāng ê khòaⁿ-hoat. Siū Grant ê iau-chhiáⁿ, i khòaⁿ he ōe-siōng, tī siông-sè siòng chi̍t-khùn liáu-āu, kóng:
“Poliomyelitis (chek-kut chhóe hoe-chit iām).”
“Sió-jî bâ-pì?” Grant kóng; hut-jiân siūⁿ-tio̍h Richard III ū chi̍t-ki chhíu-kut bah kiu-khì.
“He sī siáng,” i-su mn̄g.
“Richard III.”
“Chin ê? Chiâⁿ chhù-bī.”
“Lí chai i ū chi̍t-ki chhiú-kut bah kiu-khì?”
“Kám án-ne? Góa bē kì-tit. Góa kiò-sī i khiau-ku.”
“I mā sī [khiau-ku].”
“Góa ē kì-tit ê sī, i chi̍t chhut-sì chhùi-khí tō hoat chiâu ah, koh ē chia̍h oa̍h kap-á. Hmh, góa ê chín-toàn ká-ná hui-siông chún.”
“Chin sîn-kî. Lí sī án-chóaⁿ soán sió-jî bâ-pì?”
“Góa mā m̄-chai, taⁿ lí kiò góa kóng khak-tēng. Góa siūⁿ, sī he bīn ê khoán pah. He sī lí tī pái-kha gín-á ê bīn ē khòaⁿ-tio̍h ê piáu-chêng. Nā i sī thian-seng khiau-ku, hoān-sè sī he chō-sêng ê, m̄-sī sió-jî bâ-pì. Góa chù-ì tio̍h, ōe-ka kā he khiau-ku séng-khì.”
“Tio̍h. Kiong-têng ōe-ka tio̍h khiáu. It-ti̍t kàu Cromwell hông ōe ê sî iau-kiû ‘kā só͘-ū ê kì lóng ōe chhut-lâi.’”
“Jû-kó lí mn̄g góa ê ì-kiàn,” gōa-kho i-su ná kóng, ná sim gōax khòaⁿ Grant kha-thúi ê kiap-pán, “Cromwell khai-sí hit-ê kek pêng-hoân ê hong-khì, kàu taⁿ lán lóng ūi he siū-khó͘. ‘Góa sī phó͘-thong lâng, góa sī, bô ké-sian.’ Mā bô lé-māu, bô iu-ngá, mā bô khóng-khài.”
I kā Grant ê kha chéng-thâu-á tēⁿ chi̍t-ē, tān bô chù-sim tī hia. “Che sī chi̍t-chióng thoân-jiám pēⁿ. Chi̍t-chióng khó-phà ê hoán-siông. Tī Bí-kok ū-ê só͘-chāi, chiū góa só͘ chai, cha-po͘ lâng nā kat nekutái, chhēng gōa-thò khì kèng-soán, i ê chèng-tī sèⁿ-miā khó-lêng tō hûi-hiám. Án-ne ē hông khòaⁿ-chò ‘ké chèng-keng.’ Lí-sióng ê chò-hoat sī chiâⁿ-chò chi̍t-ê hiaⁿ-tī. Lí kha tōa pû-ong khòaⁿ khí-lâi chin kiān-khong.” I koh pó͘-chhiong kóng, jiân-āu koh chú-tōng se̍h tńg-lâi hit-tiuⁿ hē tī chhn̂g-toaⁿ ê ōe-siōng.
“Chiâⁿ chhù-bī,” i kóng, “koan-hē he sió-jî bâ-pì. Hoān-sè i ū sió-jî bâ-pì, he mā soeh-bêng i chhiú-kut bah kiu-khì.” I kè-sio̍k siūⁿ, bô boeh lī-khui ê ì-sù. “Chóng-sī, che chiâⁿ chhù-bī. Sat-jîn hoān ê ōe-siōng. I ū sêng sat-jîn hoān ê hêng bô, lí án-chóaⁿ khòaⁿ?”
“Pēng bô sat-jîn hoān ê hêng. Lâng thâi-lâng ê lí-iû thài chē leh. M̄-koh, chiū góa ka-tī ê keng-giām, a̍h kin-kì le̍k-sú àn-kiāⁿ, góa bē kì-tit ū jīm-hô sat-jîn hoān chhin-chhiūⁿ i.”
“Tong-jiân, i sī i hit-lūi ê thâu-khám, kám m̄-sī? I bô khó-lêng chai-iáⁿ liông-sim put-an ê ì-sù.”
“Bô m̄-tio̍h.”
“Góa bat khòaⁿ Olivier ián i. He sī chi̍t-tiûⁿ tùi ke̍k-toan siâ-ok ê chòe jia̍t-lia̍t ián-chhut. Chóng sī kiông boeh kòe-thâu hàm-kó͘, m̄-koh bô chhiau-kòe kài-hān.”
“Tī góa hō͘ lí khòaⁿ he ōe-siōng,” Grant kóng, “iáu m̄-chai he sī siáng chìn-chêng, lí kám ū siūⁿ-tio̍h siâ-ok?”
“Bô,” gōa-kho i-su kóng, “bô, góa siūⁿ-tio̍h pēⁿ-chèng.”
“Chin kî-koài, kám m̄-sī? Góa mā bô siūⁿ-tio̍h siâ-ok. Á taⁿ, góa chai che sī siáng, taⁿ góa í-keng tha̍k āu-bīn ê miâ, tî-liáu siâ-ok, góa siáⁿ to bô siūⁿ.”
“Góa siūⁿ, siâ-ok tō ná-chhiūⁿ bí-lē, chāi tī khòaⁿ ê lâng ê ba̍k-chiu. Hó lah, óa chiu-boat ê sî góa chiah koh lâi khòaⁿ. Taⁿ bô tó-ūi teh thiàⁿ lah hoⁿh?”
Jiân-āu i kiâⁿ-khui, tō ná lâi ê sî ê chhin-chhiat koh sûi-ì.
It-ti̍t kàu i tùi chit-pak ōe-siōng koh chìn-hêng koh-khah khùn-he̍k ê su-khó liáu-āu (I tùi ka-tī kā chi̍t-ê le̍k-lâi chòe chhàu-miâ ê sat-jîn hoān lia̍h-chò sī hoat-koaⁿ kám-kak put-boán; kā chi̍t-ê siū-sím ê lâng ùi pī-kò se̍k sóa kàu hoat-koaⁿ se̍k, che sī chi̍t-kiāⁿ kiaⁿ-lâng ê bû-lêng kí-tōng), Grant chiah ì-sek tio̍h, chit-pak ōe-siōng sī boeh hō͘ i chò cheng-thàm àn-kiāⁿ ê lē.
Richard III ū siáⁿ sîn-pì ah?
Jiân-āu, i siūⁿ khí-lâi, Richard bô͘-sat i nn̄g-ê sè-hàn ti̍t-á, m̄-koh bô-lâng chai-iáⁿ i sī án-chóaⁿ chò ê. In kan-ta sī sit-chong khì. I nā bô kì m̄-tio̍h, in sit-chong ê sî, Richard tú-hó bô tī London. Richard phài pa̍t-lâng khì chò chit-ê tāi-chì. M̄-koh gín-á ê si̍t-chè miā-ūn ê bê it-ti̍t bô kái-phòa. Charles II chē-ūi ê sî ū nn̄g-khū kut-hâi pī hoat-hiān – tī chi̍t-ê lâu-thui ē-bīn? – jiân-āu kā he bâi-chòng. Kai tong-jiân lângx jīn-ûi he tō sī hit nn̄g-ê ông-chú ê kut-hâi, tān chiông-lâi bô jīm-hô chèng-kì.
Chi̍t-ê ū hó kàu-io̍k ê lâng, tùi le̍k-sú ê tì-sek kèng-jiân chiah chió. I só͘ chai ê, koan-hē Richard III ê it-chhè, tō sī i sī Edward IV ê sió-tī. Hit-ê Edward sī chi̍t-ê kim thâu-mo͘, koân 6 eng-chhioh [182 cm], ian-thâu hó-khòaⁿ, tùi cha-bó͘ chin ū hoat-tō͘; á Richard sī chi̍t-ê khiau-ku-á, tī in hiaⁿ-ko sí-liáu, i chhoàn-toa̍t ông-ūi, chhú-tāi siàu-liân ti̍t-á ê kè-sêng, koh ūi-tio̍h kiám-séng í-āu ê mâ-hoân, an-pâi hit-ê kè-sêng jîn kap i ê sió-tī ê sí-bông. I mā chai-iáⁿ, Richard sí tī Bosworth chiàn-ia̍h, sí chêng hoah boeh ài chi̍t-phit bé, i sī in ka-cho̍k ê chòe-āu chi̍t-ê. Chòe-āu chi̍t-ê Plantagenet (Kim-chhiok hoe) Ông-tiâu ê sêng-oân.
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2.3 He 目神是 倒勼, 是 無心神
伊 kā 畫像 péng 過來 揣 圖 ê 說明.
後面 án-ne 印: Richard III. 出自 國家 肖像畫廊. 畫家毋知.
Richard III.
原來是伊. Richard III. 曲痀..ê. 囡仔古 ni̍h ê 怪物. 天真 ê 毀敗者. 邪惡 ê 代名詞.
伊 kā 紙 péng 過來, koh kā 看. Che tō 是 畫家 畫 hit 對目睭 ê 時 欲傳達 ê mi̍h hioh? 伊 tī he 目睭看著 ê, 是一个 中邪 ê 人 ê 眼神 hioh?
伊倒 leh, kúx 看 彼个面; 看 hit 對 特別 ê 目睭. He 目睭 長 liau, 倚近目眉; 目眉, 因為鬱卒 kap 過頭盡責 ê 憂愁, 小可勼倚. Hiôngx 看, 目睭 ká-ná 是 teh相 啥; 但 你若注意 kā 看, 你會發現 he 目神是 倒勼, cpt 是 無心神.
Sè-lia̍p Chí 轉來 收捀盤 ê 時, 伊猶 teh 相 hit 張畫像. 伊已經 幾若年 無拄著 這款物件 ah. Che hō͘ La Giaconda (Mona Lisa) 袂輸是 海報 [ê 水準 niâ].
Sè-lia̍p Chí 檢查 he 伊無動 ê 茶杯, kō͘ 熟練 ê 手 摸 he unx ê 茶罐, 然後 喙 khiàux. He 表情 teh 講, 她有 其他代誌 愛做, 毋是 干焦 捀茶來 煞 hông 無視.
伊 kā 畫像 tu hō͘ 她.
她按怎想? 假使 這是 她 ê 患者, 她會 按怎診斷?
“肝病,” 她 直理直路 講, 然後 捀茶盤 頓後蹬 抗議 行離開, 制服 漿 thêngx, 金毛 khiûx.
毋過, 外科醫師 tī 她出去了 隨入來, 親切 koh 隨意, 有 無仝 ê 看法. 受 Grant ê 邀請, 伊看 he 畫像, tī 詳細相 一睏了後, 講:
“Poliomyelitis (脊骨髓 灰質炎).”
“小兒麻痺?” Grant 講; 忽然想著 Richard III 有 一支手骨 肉勼去.
“He 是 siáng,” 醫師問.
“Richard III.”
“真 ê? 誠趣味.”
“你知 伊有 一支手骨 肉勼去?”
“Kám án-ne? 我袂記得. 我叫是 伊曲痀.”
“伊 mā 是 [曲痀].”
“我會記得 ê 是, 伊 一出世 喙齒 tō 發齊 ah, koh 會食 活蛤仔. Hmh, 我 ê 診斷 ká-ná 非常準.”
“真神奇. 你是按怎 選 小兒麻痺?”
“我 mā 毋知, 今 你叫我 講確定. 我想, 是 he 面 ê 款 pah. 彼是 你 tī 跛跤囡仔 ê 面 會看著 ê 表情. 若 伊是 天生曲痀, 凡勢 是 he 造成 ê, 毋是 小兒麻痺. 我 注意著, 畫家 kā he 曲痀 省去.”
“著. 宮廷畫家 著 巧. 一直到 Cromwell hông 畫 ê時 要求 ‘kā 所有 ê 痣 lóng 畫出來.'”
“如果 你問 我 ê 意見,” 外科醫師 ná 講, ná 心 gōax 看 Grant 跤腿 ê 夾板, “Cromwell 開始彼个 激平凡 ê 風氣, 到今 咱 lóng 為 he 受苦. ‘我是 普通人, 我是, 無假仙.’ Mā 無禮貌, 無優雅, mā 無慷慨.”
伊 kā Grant ê 跤指頭仔 捏一下, 但 無注心 tī hia. “這是 一種 傳染病. 一種 可怕 ê 反常. Tī 美國 有 ê 所在, 就 我所知, 查埔人 若 kat nekutái, 穿外套 去競選, 伊 ê 政治性命 可能 tō 危險. Án-ne 會 hông 看做 ‘假正經.’ 理想 ê 做法 是 成做 一个兄弟. 你 跤大垺翁 看起來 真健康.” 伊 koh 補充講, 然後 koh 主動 踅轉來 彼張 hē tī 床單 ê 畫像.
“誠趣味,” 伊講, “關係 he 小兒麻痺. 凡勢 伊有 小兒麻痺, he mā 說明 伊手骨 肉勼去.” 伊繼續想, 無 欲離開 ê 意思. “總是, che 誠趣味. 殺人犯 ê 畫像. 伊 有成 殺人犯 ê 型 無, 你 按怎看?”
“並無 殺人犯 ê 型. 人刣人 ê 理由 太濟 leh. 毋過, 就 我 ka-tī ê 經驗, a̍h 根據 歷史案件, 我 袂記得 有任何 殺人犯 親像 伊.”
“當然, 伊是 伊彼類 ê 頭坎, kám 毋是? 伊 無可能 知影 良心不安 ê 意思.”
“無毋著.”
“我 bat 看 Olivier 演 伊. 彼是 一場 對 極端邪惡 ê 最熱烈 演出. 總是 強欲 過頭譀古, 毋過 無超過 界限.”
“Tī 我 hō͘ 你看 he 畫像,” Grant 講, “猶毋知 彼是 siáng 進前, 你 kám 有想著 邪惡?”
“無,” 外科醫師 講, “無, 我想著 病症.”
“真奇怪, kám 毋是? 我 mā 無想著 邪惡. Á 今, 我知 這是 siáng, 今 我已經 讀後面 ê 名, 除了邪惡, 我啥 to 無想.”
“我想, 邪惡 tō ná 像 美麗, 在 tī 看 ê 人 ê 目睭. 好 lah, 倚週末 ê 時 我 才 koh 來看. 今 無佗位 teh 疼 lah hoⁿh?”
然後 伊行開, tō ná 來 ê 時 ê 親切 koh 隨意.
一直到 伊對 這幅畫像 koh 進行 閣較 困惑 ê 思考了後 (伊對 ka-tī kā 一个 歷來 最臭名 ê 殺人犯 掠做是 法官 感覺不滿; kā 一个受審 ê 人 ùi 被告席 徙到 法官席, 這是 一件 驚人 ê 無能 舉動), Grant 才 意識著, 這幅畫像 是欲 hō͘ 伊做 偵探案件 ê 例.
Richard III 有啥 神祕 ah?
然後, 伊 想起來, Richard 謀殺 伊兩个 細漢 侄仔, 毋過 無人 知影 伊是 按怎做 ê. In 干焦是 失蹤去. 伊若無 記毋著, in 失蹤 ê 時, Richard 拄好 無 tī London. Richard 派別人 去做 這个代誌. 毋過 囡仔 ê 實際命運 ê 迷 一直 無改破. Charles II 坐位 ê 時 有兩具 骨骸 被發現 - tī 一个 樓梯下面? - 然後 kā he 埋葬. 該當然 lângx 認為 he tō 是 hit 兩个王子 ê 骨骸, 但 從來 無任何 證據.
一个 有 好教育 ê 人, 對 歷史 ê 智識 竟然 chiah 少. 伊所知 ê, 關係 Richard III ê 一切, tō 是 伊是 Edward IV ê 小弟. 彼个 Edward 是 一个 金頭毛, 懸 6 英尺 [182 cm], 嫣投好看, 對查某 真 有法度; á Richard 是 一个 曲痀仔, tī in 兄哥死了, 伊 篡奪王位, 取代 少年侄仔 ê 繼承, koh 為著 減省 以後 ê 麻煩, 安排 彼个 繼承人 kap 伊 ê 小弟 ê 死亡. 伊 mā 知影, Richard 死 tī Bosworth 戰役, 死前喝 欲愛 一匹馬, 伊是 in 家族 ê 最後一个. 最後一个 Plantagenet (金雀花) 王朝 ê 成員.
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2.3
He turned the portrait over to look for a caption.
On the back was printed: Richard the Third. From the portrait in the National Portrait Gallery. Artist Unknown.
Richard the Third.
So that was who it was. Richard the Third. Crouch-back. The monster of nursery stories. The destroyer of innocence. A synonym for villainy.
He turned the paper over and looked again. Was that what the artist had tried to convey when he had painted those eyes? Had what he had seen in those eyes been the look of a man haunted?
He lay a long time looking at that face; at those[Pg 29] extraordinary eyes. They were long eyes, set close under the brows; the brows slightly drawn in that worried, over-conscientious frown. At first glance they appeared to be peering; but as one looked one found that they were in fact withdrawn, almost absent-minded.
When The Midget came back for his tray he was still staring at the portrait. Nothing like this had come his way for years. It made La Giaconda look like a poster.
The Midget examined his virgin teacup, put a practised hand against the teapot’s tepid cheek, and pouted. She had better things to do, she conveyed, than bring him trays for him to ignore.
He pushed the portrait at her.
What did she think of it? If that man were her patient what would be her verdict?
‘Liver,’ she said crisply, and bore away the tray in heel-tapping protest, all starch and blonde curls.
But the surgeon, strolling in against her draught, kindly and casual, had other views. He looked at the portrait, as invited, and said after a moment’s interested scrutiny:
‘Poliomyelitis.’
‘Infantile paralysis?’ Grant said; and remembered all of a sudden that Richard III had a withered arm.
‘Who is it?’ the surgeon asked.
‘Richard the Third.’
‘Really? That’s interesting.’
‘Did you know that he had a withered arm?’
‘Had he? I didn’t remember that. I thought he was a hunchback.’
‘So he was.’
[Pg 30]‘What I do remember is that he was born with a full set of teeth and ate live frogs. Well, my diagnosis seems to be abnormally accurate.’
‘Uncanny. What made you choose polio?’
‘I don’t quite know, now that you ask me to be definitive. Just the look of the face, I suppose. It’s the look one sees on the face of a cripple child. If he was born hunchbacked that probably accounts for it and not polio. I notice the artist has left out the hump.’
‘Yes. Court painters have to have a modicum of tact. It wasn’t until Cromwell that sitters asked for “warts and all”.’
‘If you ask me,’ the surgeon said, absent-mindedly considering the splint on Grant’s leg, ‘Cromwell started that inverted snobbery from which we are all suffering today. “I’m a plain man, I am; no nonsense about me.” And no manners, grace, or generosity, either.’ /
He pinched Grant’s toe with detached interest. ‘It’s a raging disease. A horrible perversion. In some parts of the States, I understand, it’s as much as a man’s political life is worth to go to some constituencies with his tie tied and his coat on. That’s being stuffed-shirt. The beau ideal is to be one of the boys. That’s looking very healthy,’ he added, referring to Grant’s big toe, and came back of his own accord to the portrait lying on the counterpane.
‘Interesting,’ he said, ‘that about the polio. Perhaps it really was polio, and that accounts for the shrunken arm.’ He went on considering it, making no movement to go. ‘Interesting, anyhow. Portrait of a murderer. Does he run to type, would you say?’
‘There isn’t a murder type. People murder for too many different reasons. But I can’t remember any[Pg 31] murderer, either in my own experience, or in case-histories, who resembled him.’
‘Of course he was hors concours in his class, wasn’t he. He couldn’t have known the meaning of scruple.’
‘No.’
‘I once saw Olivier play him. The most dazzling exhibition of sheer evil, it was. Always on the verge of toppling over into the grotesque, and never doing it.’
‘When I showed you the portrait,’ Grant said, ‘before you knew who it was, did you think of villainy?’
‘No,’ said the surgeon, ‘no, I thought of illness.’
‘It’s odd, isn’t it. I didn’t think of villainy either. And now that I know who it is, now that I’ve read the name on the back, I can’t think of it as anything but villainous.’
‘I suppose villainy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Well, I’ll look in again towards the end of the week. No pain to speak of now?’
And he went away, kindly and casual as he had come.
It was only after he had given the portrait further puzzled consideration (it piqued him to have mistaken one of the most notorious murderers of all time for a judge; to have transferred a subject from the dock to the bench was a shocking piece of ineptitude) that it occurred to Grant that the portrait had been provided as the illustration to a piece of detection.
What mystery was there about Richard III?
And then he remembered. Richard had murdered his two boy nephews, but no one knew how. They had merely disappeared. They had disappeared, if he remembered rightly, while Richard was away from London. Richard had sent someone to do the deed. But the mystery of the children’s actual fate had never been[Pg 32] solved. Two skeletons had turned up—under some stairs?—in Charles II’s day, and had been buried. It was taken for granted that the skeletons were the remains of the young princes, but nothing had ever been proved.
It was shocking how little history remained with one after a good education. All he knew about Richard III was that he was the younger brother of Edward IV. That Edward was a blond six-footer with remarkable good looks and a still more remarkable way with women; and that Richard was a hunchback who usurped the throne on his brother’s death in place of the boy heir, and arranged the death of that heir and his small brother to save himself any further trouble. He also knew that Richard had died at the battle of Bosworth yelling for a horse, and that he was the last of his line. The last Plantagenet.
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